Wednesday, October 16, 2019
Applicability of the Principles of Empowerment and Recovery of the Essay
Applicability of the Principles of Empowerment and Recovery of the Mentally Ill in Practice - Essay Example There are many types of mental illnesses including: bipolarity, depression, panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and schizophrenia among others. 1.0 Scenario One afternoon, a man in his late 20s was brought in for medical attention. For the purpose of confidentiality, we shall name him Andrew (not his real name). Andrew could not keep still and he kept on moving from one point to another, talking to imaginary people. The people who brought him to the hospital were his colleagues at work, who claimed that he had become very hostile, attacking everyone at the office and accusing them of trying to ruin his life. They claimed that he had also started talking to himself and repeatedly saying ââ¬Å"they want to kill meâ⬠. Andrew was immediately taken to the psychiatrist ward for examination, while I was instructed to get more information about his actions from his colleagues. The workmates told me that in last few months, they had observed some abnormal behavior in their col league, but had dismissed the actions. For example, he would show up at work late, looking tired and had started withdrawing from his workmates. They also claimed that he could no longer meet deadlines and that he often did substandard work. After the discussion with the patientsââ¬â¢ colleagues, I called his family before going to check on the progress of the patient. The psychiatrist informed me that they had sedated him to ease his agitation. I explained to him all the observances noted by Andrewââ¬â¢s colleagues and the doctor suspected that this could be a case of schizophrenia. As we were talking, Andrewââ¬â¢s wife and sister came in looking very worried. The doctor explained the patientââ¬â¢s condition to them and asked them to offer any information they deemed useful. The wife explained how Andrew a father of two and an accountant had started acting weird about the same time the previous year. He would often withdraw from his wife and children, he would become ea sily agitated if the children did anything wrong, and would act unmoved even if the children cried for attention. The wife also explained how in recent days Andrew had become very attentive to the safety of his family, claiming that someone was out to harm them. He would lock all the doors and constantly look out through the window to see whether someone was watching them. Andrewââ¬â¢s sister also explained how as a teenager, Andrew had suddenly lost all zeal for life. He no longer engaged in activities he had previously enjoyed. She explained that Andrew stopped playing rugby; his social life degenerated and he became withdrawn from his family. He did not seem to have any direction in life; neither did he know what career he wanted. Meanwhile his family attributed all this to adolescence and hoped it would pass. They did not expect Andrewââ¬â¢s condition to deteriorate to the present situation; neither did they attribute it to a mental disorder. At this point it was absolutel y clear that indeed Andrew was suffering from undifferentiated schizophrenia. When Andrew woke up he was much quieter and seemed to act more normally, except that he denied ever doing all the things that his colleagues had pointed out. He was not ready to face up to the fact that he was mentally ill and was still in denial. According to Warner (2004) it is common for people suffering from schizophrenia to deny their mental condition. Later on, the psychiatrist asked if I wanted to be involved in empowering Andrew to recover from his illness and I was
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
Book review of Ethics on the Job by R. Pfeiffer and R. Forsberg Essay
Book review of Ethics on the Job by R. Pfeiffer and R. Forsberg - Essay Example This paper explores the strengths and weaknesses of the book as a reference for business and management students. Based on the book review, this book is best for undergraduate business, management, marketing, and other business-related courses, because it provides a brief overview of business ethics and provides pragmatic solutions to different business cases. Main Arguments The main argument of Pfeiffer and Forsberg (2005) is that when surmounting ethical challenges, employees and the management should use critical thinking in determining all conflicting rights and values, before choosing which ones have to be upheld. The decision for the resolution must consider different oppositions and diverse alternatives. Furthermore, Pfeiffer and Forsberg (2005) wants stakeholders to collaborate together in making long-term solutions. They are teaching business and management students to not have a myopic view of ethical dilemmas. ... They recommended the use of ethical principles, rights, and values in making the right business decisions, so that managers and employees can have the tools for making ethical decisions for different levels (i.e. management or individual levels). Strengths Content The first strength of the book is that it is a book on applied ethics. It does not focus on explaining diverse theoretical and philosophical approaches to ethical decision-making, but instead, it devotes itself to different cases that tackle diverse ethical scenarios. It provides numerous cases that will expose students to different kinds of individual, team, and organization-level ethical dilemmas. This way, Pfeiffer and Forsberg (2005) are training students on how to view and analyze different ethical challenges that they may face in real life. Through different cases, students will also become updated with emerging ethical issues, such as environmental, technological, and multicultural ethical concerns. They will underst and that global, regional, and national events and conditions also impact local business ethical problems. The second strength of the book is that it offers a workable decision-making framework for students. The RESOLVEDD strategy defines stakeholders and their conflicting principles, rights, and values, which is essential in understanding the problem at hand. A complete understanding of the problem can lead to a more comprehensive analysis of the ethical dilemma and will help determine more potential alternative solutions. Win-win solutions can be better viewed, when all conditions and stakeholders are considered. Ferrell and Ferrell (2009) highlighted the
Monday, October 14, 2019
How does Hamlet deal with the revengers r& Essay Example for Free
How does Hamlet deal with the revengers ramp Essay Revenge is defined as retaliation for an offence or injury; Hamlet has two main reasons for needing revenge, political and moral. Politically he has to kill Claudius for the offence of denying Hamlet, the heir to the Danish kingdom, his usurped crown. He also has a moral reason, as the son of a dear father murdered(II. ii. 581); he has a duty to extract revenge for the injury; and filially to protect his mother by ridding her of an incestuous and immoral marriage to a murderer. He has no doubt even to himself that he does have this dutiful role to perform, I know my course (II. ii. 596). To seek this revenge he would have to kill Claudius and his mother, for they are both guilty of having impure souls. But one of the very first internal conflicts Hamlet has is when the Ghost tells him nor let thy soul contrive Against thy mother aught. Leave her to heaven (I. iv. 85). This leaves him in great turmoil, as he can justify to himself the killing of Claudius, but not letting his mother live. He is so overcome with a sense of purity and morality, especially with concern to women, it does not seem right to him that something so tainted should be allowed to carry on in the world. He wants his perfect revenge, one that would satisfy his meticulously accomplished conscience, but he can not carry it out, so instead he declines it altogether, or at least puts it off in stages, until he can prove it to himself and can put it off no longer. He is willing to taint his own soul and so go to hell and enter a damnation possibly even worse than that in which the Ghost resides, which he tells Hamlet just to know about would, harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood, make thy two eyes like stars start from their spheres, thy knotted and combini d locks to part, and each particular hair to stand on end like quills upon the fretful porpentine (I. iv. 16). Yet he is willing to suffer all this for the sake of revenge in killing Claudius, to avenge his father, so to save his mother, to leave her to heaven (I. v. 86), when even he is not allowed this blessing. What he is giving up to be the dutiful son and revenge his fathers murder in comparison to what Gertrude is giving up leaves his worse off than her, even though she has been an adulterous wife. Therefore her being allowed to live on in sin is as wrong not only on her part, but also on Hamlets for allowing it to be. Hamlet knows what he is sacrificing of himself, his immortal soul, if he is to take on the revengers ri le. It is a heavy burden to carry, and not one that he is willing to undertake lightly, so he wants to be absolutely certain of Claudius guilt before taking action. For as certain as he is of the course of action that must be taken, the truth of the Ghosts words must be ascertained, for when Hamlet converses with him he does not know for certain if it is a spirit of health or goblin damned, bring with thee airs from heaven or blasts from hell, be thy intents wicked or charitable (I. iv. 40). So to affirm the facts for himself, Hamlet has the players perform the play and watches for Claudiuss reaction to his own murderous and incestuous actions being acted out before him. For Hamlet this is supposed to be a resolution, a confirmation of his suspicions before he can act, a catalyst to spur him on depending on the success of his experiment. Hamlet becomes angry and disgusted with himself; he cant understand his own lack of passion, even after proving to himself that Claudius is guilty. He is very aware of himself not crying in the rehearsal of the play, when the players are moved to tears over the story of the rousid vengeance (II. ii. 486) of Pyrrhus, Priam and Hecuba. As soon as he is alone, he bursts out O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I! Is it not monstrous that this player here, But in a fiction, in a dream of passion, Could force his soul so to his own conceit That from her working all his visage waned, Tears in his eyes, distraction in his aspect. And all for nothing He feels miserable at his deficit, he is forced to compare himself and he comes of he worse. What would he do had he the motive and the cue for passion that I have? Make mad the guilty and appal the free. He again feels this lack of justified fervour when young Fortinbras goes to battle to fight and possibly to die for a land that is acknowledged to be not worth the sacrifice we go to gain a little patch of ground that hath in it no profit but the name (IV. iv. 18). This is again someone showing emotion and action when there is not as much reason to do so as there is for Hamlet. When he is alone he sees what Fortinbras has done as being honourable and a rebuke of his own inaction, whereas before when talking to Fortinbras captain, he had been cynical as to the actions they were carrying out. He analyses himself as thinking too precisely on thevent A thought which, quartered, hath but one part wisdom and ever three parts coward (IV. iv. 41). He sees his need to think things through before acting as a deplorable weakness. Even he can see hat he is being weak minded and indecisive. But even when convinced he cant kill his uncle deliberately, in a rage he thinks he has killed him, but it was just Polonius. Having proved Claudius guilt, Hamlet now has to act, and yet does not act straight away, but postpones it, indicating that there are also other deeper subconscious reasons that could affect him. The death of his father at the beginning of the play and the hasty incestuous marriage of his mother upset him greatly and have led to his obsessions with death, decay, sin the body and its parts and with women, purity and the defiling of them. We can see this from speeches such as, O that this too too sullied flesh would melt Or that the Everlasting had not fixed His cannon gainst self-slaughter. (I. ii. 129) Frailty, thy name is woman. (I. ii. 146) For if the sun breed maggots in a dead dog, being a good kissing carrion have you a daughter? (II. ii. 181) Or in that sleep of death what dreams may come, When we have shuffled off this mortal coil in which Hamlet is clearly fixed on purity, women, death and suicide. Claudius being a murder and committing incest and yet still having the crown of Denmark and outwardly appearing to be just, honourable and a good leader (quote? ) could explain why Hamlet often confuses the order of society in his speeches. This can be seen when he calls himself a rogue and peasant slave (II. ii.547) when he clearly isnt, or when he calls himself unpregnant and likens himself to a whore in the same soliloquy, when he obviously is not. To Hamlet, Claudius is tainted and impure in mind and action, yet he is a good ruler of Denmark, a good king, and a good diplomat. He is efficient, confident, in control of affairs, in every way assured and poised. Hamlet identifies with Claudius in a way that restrains him from being able to kill him, hamlet has all the ability and the necessary desire, but Claudius has everything Hamlet wants, which leads to internal sub-conscious conflict on as well as his conscious conflicts. His mothers ability to alter the direction of her affection from one person to another so suddenly hurts Hamlet, as having to share her with his own father was difficult enough, but at least was understandable. He is now jealous that someone else holds such high regard in her affections but at the same time is disgusted with her for loving someone else. But as his jealousy is repressed, as he doesnt even admit to himself that he is jealous of his mothers lovers, all he feels is a deep sense of disgust towards Gertrude that helps him deal with his rejection. Hamlet could be suffering from the theory that Freud developed, the Oedipus theory. This states that as children, young boys feel great bitterness and resentment towards their fathers for making them share their mothers affections and for having sexual relations with their mothers which the young boys also desire, and so they view their fathers as rivals that they would rather have out of the way. These thoughts are repressed as a form of defence for fear that their fathers will realise what they are thinking. To compensate for this they resolve the complex by over identifying with their fathers and adopting many of their fathers attitudes. This could be used to explain Hamlets impediment and self-frustration towards his revenge. He tries to carry out the task, but he is held back in some way, because he cannot kill a person who he recognises as so like himself in what he wants to be like and wishes he could do. His desires towards his mother have been so long repressed that they are now repulsive to him, but yet her remarrying brings those thoughts to his attention. He sees someone taking the place of his father in her affections, the place that he has long coveted. The nature of this usurper, a relative, makes the link between the two even more incestuous in Hamlets mind and even more connected towards him. This, coupled with the fact that Claudius is able to gain his mothers affection by killing old Hamlet, ridding him, once again something that Hamlet has long wanted to do but repressed from himself, hinders Hamlet greatly from carrying out his revenge. When Hamlet discovers the identity of his fathers murderer his first instant reply is O my prophetic soul! My uncle? (I. v. 40). This does imply that unconsciously the idea had been in his mind and had suddenly been brought back to his awareness.
Sunday, October 13, 2019
William Randolph Hearst Essay -- History, War
A. Plan of Investigation How greatly was William Randolph Hearst's propaganda concerning the Cuban insurrection involved in the decision of the United States to declare war on Spain in 1898? This question will be addressed in this investigation in an attempt to find the degree of influence that the publisher William Randolph Hearst had on a brief period of American foreign policy (and Cuban domestic policy) by his manipulation of the press, the emerging medium of the screen, and the lobbying of Congress. This will be done by reviewing the two opposing theories regarding Hearst's involvement; one claiming that he was one of the leading catalysts of the conflict, the other arguing that he simply manipulated the existing public opinion to make money. This paper will also analyze the historical evidence that may or may not point to Hearst's early steps towards the war, such as journalist George Creelman's account of the controversial Remington-Hearst telegrams, as well as W. Joseph Campbell's study of the factu ality of Creelman's narrative. The period of time being examined is from Hearst's papers' first calls for intervention in Cuba in 1893 to their coverage of the sinking of the USS Maine on 15 February 1898. It will not discuss anything that Hearst published in this time period advocating intervention in or covering the crises in the Phillipines and Puerto Rico. B. Summary of Evidence On the evening of 15 February 1898, the USS Maine, an American battleship stationed in Cuba's Havana Harbor, spontaneously exploded, killing more than 250 of its passengers. Two days later, despite the warnings of the Maine's commander Captain Charles Sigsbee that "public opinion (about the cause of the explosion) should be suspended until f... ... for description" (New York Journal 17 Aug. 1897). The paper detailed the story of her bold resistance to the advances of a Spanish officer, her imprisonment in a jail reserved for prostitutes and her eventual rescue by Journal correspondent Karl Decker (Thomas 179-184), who, according to fellow Journal writer Willis Abbot, actually bribed the prison guards to stage the rescue (Abbott 215-216). From 12 January to 20 January 1898, the Journal ran a series of cartoons ridiculing House Speaker Thomas Brackett Reed for openly opposing American intervention. On 25 January, the Maine arrived in Havana harbor, the first American boat to arrive. "Our Flag at Havana at Last," declared the Journal. Then, for almost a month the paper was quiet, finally interrupted by the mysterious explosion of the Maine. By that time, Hearst was riding a wave of papers and power to war.
Saturday, October 12, 2019
Effects of Extramarital Affairs with Divorce on Middle Aged Women Essa
I interviewed Ann (pseudonym), who is a middle-aged woman who is a mother of three and has always been a happy, loving, and positive human being. However when I knew that I was going to interview her, I instantly knew that I was going to focus on the topic of how extramarital affairs (emotional and or sexual relationship a spouse has outside of their relationship) and divorce affects middle aged women. I chose this topic as the effects it has on a woman can be life-changing and can result in them becoming an entirely different person, and in the case of Ann it couldnââ¬â¢t be any more apparent. It is important to acknowledge that a divorce and the effect that it has is one subject matter, but a divorce caused by extramarital affairs is an entirely separate issue as it can have damaging short term effects, long term effects, and financial consequences. While divorce is not a primary process of aging, it is a secondary process that affects a large amount of women as they age in life. Understanding the basics of extramarital affairs such as the prevalence of them, who participates in them, and why they participate in them is the first step in understanding the effect they can have. There isnââ¬â¢t a known culture that accepts extramarital affairs (Jankowiak, Nell, and Buckmaster, 2002). Eric Widmer, Judith Treas, and Robert Newcomb (1998) published an article concerning attitudes on premarital sex, teenage sex, homosexual sex, and extramarital sex in 24 different countries. Their research consisted of surveying over 33,000 people. Their findings were very interested as while premarital sex gathered the strongest acceptance and homosexual sex gathered the most varied responses; it was extramarital sex that countries agreed on the mo... ...2002. "Managing infidelity: a cross- cultural perspective." International Journal of Psychoanalysis volume 87 (issue 2): (Retrieved from Questia on February 26, 2010.) Lauer, Robert and Jeanette Lauer. 2009. Marriage & Family: The Quest for Intimacy. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill. Wiederman, Michael. 1997. "Extramarital Sex: Prevalence and correlates in a National Survey." Journal of Sex Research volume 34 (issue 2) 167-174. (Retrieved from EBSCOhost on February 26, 2010.) Widmer, Eric, Judith Treas, and Robert Newcomb. 1998. "Attitudes Towards Nonmarital Sex in 24 Countries." Journal of Sex Research volume 35 (issue 4): 349-358. (Retrieved from EBSCOhost on February 26, 2010.) ââ¬Å"5% of Americans Addicted to Sex.â⬠2008. Times of India. Retrieved February 26, 2010 (http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/World/5_Americans_addicted_to_sex/articleshow/3820228.cms).
Friday, October 11, 2019
Investigating Special Education Internet Resources Essay
Family Village For Families of Children with Special Needs ââ¬â http://www.familyvillage.wisc.edu/websites.html This website offers a wide variety of resources for the community to use when trying to navigate aroundà the internet. It has sources such as Parent to Parent Matching, Mental health Websites, Diagnosis, and Internet resources. The Tulsa Area Alliance on Disabilities ââ¬âhttp://208.112.118.116/disabili.html The website explains the benefits of early inclusion with students with and without disabilities. The website also breaks down the stages in which the person should be reaching milestones such as work and self-sufficiency. Tulsa Kids For Parents. For Families. For Life ââ¬â http://www.tulsakids.com/October2011/Tulsa-Special-Needs-Resource-Guide. The Tulsa Kids for Parents webstie offers five pages facilities where children with disabilities can utilize for exercise, activities, cheerleading, horseback riding and many other events that students with disabilities can participate in. This site also provides churches, foundations, learning facilities and legal services. This can be very helpful when parents are searching for activities their child may be interested or therapeutic exercise. United Way ââ¬â Tulsa Area United Way ââ¬âhttp://www.tauw.org/Member_Agencies.asp The Untied Way provides a tremendous amount of support in the Tulsa area for people with disabilities. The United Way partners with agencies to provide support for services the New Leaf that provides residential living skills classes and vocational training. Parentsà National Center for Learning Disabilities ââ¬â http://www.ncld.org The NCLD website provides over 101 videos on different disabilities in order for parents to get an understanding of what type of disability their child may have. Not only does it provide facts about the disabilities it also provides true life stories from parents who have a child with a disability. Oklahoma Department of Human Services. http://www.okdhs.org/programsand services/dd/prvdrs/docs/providerlistab.htmlThe Department of Human Services is one of the most crucial services a parent can utilize. Having a child born with a disability is very expensive and the services the parents are offered are sometimes are life savers. Families can rely on free home visitsà for therapy, vouchers for formula, free shots and wellness baby checkups. Wrightslaw ââ¬âà http://www.wrightslaw.com/. Wrightslaw is a website that provides newsletters for parents to subscribe to concerning where to turn for Special Advocacy, Legal issues, revised regulations in education. This is a must to parents with a child that has a disability due to the fact that the website gets you headed in the right directs if a problem arises. The information is up to day on the No Child Left Behind Act. Students Funbrain ââ¬â www.funbrain.com ââ¬â This website provides interactive games such as connect the dots to create a picture of an animal or character. Funbrain is for all school age students and are arranged in different grade levels. KidsKnowIt Network ââ¬â http://www.kidsknowit.com ââ¬â The Kids Know It Network can be used as a homework helper by watching math videos on the problems a student may be struggling with. There are also bidoes on astronomy, biology, geology, history, math, memory and so much more. Teachers can utilize this website as an additional tool in the classroom. The great part about this website is it is free. Learn4Good ââ¬â http://www.learn4good.com/kids/indes.htm ââ¬â Learn4Good offers all ages Pre-k through 12 interactive games, lessons, math, reading, and can provide a report on student progress. At first I did not think students should be on this website but then took a closer look at what it had to offer the lower grades as well as the upper grades. Many times the older grades do not have enough educational websites to keep their interests or only geared to lower level learners. Starfall ââ¬âà http://www.starfall.com ââ¬â Starfall offers children a large variety of learning tools to begin students learning adventures for all ages. Theà different categories range from learning their alphabet, colors, days, sounds to the students reading. My students with disabilities use this website when they come into the computer lab. Teachersà Department of Education http://www.ed.gov The Department of Education is one of the most valuable websites that keeps teachers and administrators informed of the changing laws in education. It provides resources for grants, professional development and funding. Do2Learnà http://www.do2learn.com Do2Learn is a must for teachers who teach children with autism. It allows you to print pictures of the childââ¬â¢s daily routine with flash cards. Self help toilet procedures, clothing, social behaviors and emotions. It offers over 2,500 pictures cards that can be printed. Most features on this site are free but there are some that you will need a subscription for. This website is a must for parents and teachers who work with Autistic students. Khan Academyà http://www.khanacademy.org Khan Academy is one of the most valuable websites for teachers to utilize as a resources tool. It offers 750 math videos that allows students to view a 3-5 minute video on the math problem that they are currently working. If students struggle with a certain step of a math problem they can view the video as many times as they may need. This is great as a homework helper. Learning Disabilities Association of America http://www.ldanatl.org/aboutld/teachers/index.asp The LDA can provide a path to understanding of many of the disabilities that teachers come in contact with every day. As an educator it is important to utilize resources that can provide definitions of their studentââ¬â¢s disabilities. It provides signs, symptoms and strategies. National Association of Special Education Teachersà http://www.naset.org The NASET offers a wide range of resources for teachers such as Professional Development Courses, IEP Development Tools, E-Journals, IEP Golas, Objectives and Activities App. The most up to day features areà also avail and can be utilized form your ipad or iphone app. One very important feature about this website is that it provides handouts, printable forms and reports. No Child Left Behindà http://www.2.edu.gov/nclb.landing.jhtml The No Child Left Behind website offers resources for teachers and strategies that can be utilized in the classroom. Free special educational resources, bullying resources, are just some of the resources. The website also provides changes in the state standards, which is something that all teachers need to be aware of at all times.
Thursday, October 10, 2019
Bloodlines Chapter Two
A COUPLE OF PEOPLE GASPED, no doubt over Keith's use of the term ââ¬Å"vamp lover.â⬠Neither word was that terrible in and of itself, but togetherâ⬠¦ well, they represented an idea that was pretty much anathema to all that the Alchemists stood for. We fought to protect humans from vampires. Being in league with those creatures was about the vilest thing any of us could be accused of. Even while questioning me earlier, the other Alchemists had been very careful with their choice of language. Keith's usage was almost obscene. Horowitz looked angry on my behalf and opened his mouth as though he might make an equally biting retort. After a quick glance at Zoe and me, he seemed to reconsider, and stayed silent. Michaelson, however, couldn't help himself from muttering, ââ¬Å"Protect us all.â⬠He made the sign against evil. Yet it wasn't Keith's name-calling that really set me off (though that did certainly send a chill through me). It was Stanton's earlier offhand comment. We know you requested Zoe. Keith had requested Zoe for this assignment? My resolve to keep her out of it grew by leaps and bounds. The thought of her going off with him made me clench my fists. Everyone here might think Keith Darnell was some kind of poster child, but I knew better. No girl ââ¬â let alone my sister ââ¬â should be left alone with him. ââ¬Å"Keith,â⬠said Stanton, a gentle warning in her voice. ââ¬Å"I can respect your feelings, but you aren't in a position to make that call.â⬠He flushed. ââ¬Å"Palm Springs is my post! I have every right to dictate what goes on in my territory.â⬠ââ¬Å"I can understand why you'd feel that way,â⬠said my father. Unbelievable. If Zoe or I had questioned authority like Keith had, our father wouldn't have hesitated to tell us our ââ¬Å"rightsâ⬠ââ¬â or rather, he'd tell us that we had none. Keith had stayed with my family one summer ââ¬â young Alchemists sometimes did that while training ââ¬â and my father had grown to regard him like the son he'd never had. Even then, there'd been a double standard between Keith and us. Time and distance apparently hadn't diminished that. ââ¬Å"Palm Springs may be your post,â⬠said Stanton, ââ¬Å"but this assignment is coming from places in the organization that are far above your reach. You're essential for coordination, yes, but you are by no means the ultimate authority here.â⬠Unlike me, I suspected Stanton had smacked a few people in her day, and I think she wanted to do that to Keith now. It was funny that she would become my defender, since I'd been pretty sure she didn't buy my story about using Rose to advance my career. Keith visibly calmed himself, wisely realizing a childish outburst wasn't going to get him anywhere. ââ¬Å"I understand. But I'm simply worried about the success of this mission. I know both of the Sage girls. Even before Sydney's ââ¬Ëincident,' I had serious concerns about her. I figured she'd grow out of them, though, so I didn't bother saying anything at the time. I see now I was wrong. Back then, I actually thought Zoe would have been a far better choice for the family position. No offense, Jared.â⬠He gave my father what was probably supposed to be a charming smile. Meanwhile, it was getting harder and harder to hide my incredulity. ââ¬Å"Zoe was eleven when you stayed with us,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"How in the world could you have drawn those conclusions?â⬠I didn't buy for an instant that he'd had ââ¬Å"concernsâ⬠about me back then. No ââ¬â scratch that. He'd probably had concerns the last day he stayed with us, when I confronted him about a dirty secret he'd been hiding. That, I was almost certain, was what all of this was about. He wanted me silenced. My adventures with Rose were simply an excuse to get me out of the way. ââ¬Å"Zoe was always advanced for her age,â⬠Keith said. ââ¬Å"Sometimes you can just tell.â⬠ââ¬Å"Zoe's never seen a Strigoi, let alone a Moroi! She'd probably freeze up if she did. That's true of most Alchemists,â⬠I pointed out. ââ¬Å"Whoever you send is going to have to be able to stand being around them, and no matter what you think of my reasons, I'm used to them. I don't like them, but I know how to tolerate them. Zoe hasn't had anything but the most basic of instruction ââ¬â and that's all been in our home. Everyone keeps saying this is a serious assignment. Do you really want to risk its outcome because of inexperience and unsubstantiated fears?â⬠I finished, proud of myself for staying calm and making such a reasoned argument. Barnes shifted uneasily. ââ¬Å"But if Keith had doubts years agoâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ââ¬Å"Zoe's training is still probably enough to get by,â⬠said my father. Five minutes ago, my father had endorsed me going instead of her! Was anyone here even listening to me? It was like I was invisible now that Keith was here. Horowitz had been busily cleaning and putting away his tattooing tools but looked up to scoff at Barnes's remark. ââ¬Å"You said the magic words: ââ¬Ëyears ago.' Keith couldn't have been much older than these girls are now.â⬠Horowitz shut his tool case and leaned casually against the wall, arms crossed. ââ¬Å"I don't doubt you, Keith. Not exactly. But I'm not really sure you can base your opinion of her off memories from when you were all children.â⬠By Horowitz's logic, he was saying I was still a child, but I didn't care. He'd delivered his comments in an effortless, easy way that nonetheless left Keith looking like an idiot. Keith knew it, too, and turned bright red. ââ¬Å"I concur,â⬠said Stanton, who was clearly getting impatient. ââ¬Å"Sydney wants this badly, and few would, considering it means she'll actually have to live with a vampire.â⬠Want it badly? Not exactly. But I did want to protect Zoe at all costs and restore my credibility. If it meant thwarting Keith Darnell along the way, then so much the ââ¬â ââ¬Å"Wait,â⬠I said, replaying Stanton's words. ââ¬Å"Did you say live with a vampire?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes,â⬠said Stanton. ââ¬Å"Even if she's in hiding, the Moroi girl still has to have some semblance of a normal life. We figured we'd kill two birds with one stone and enroll her in a private boarding school. Take care of her education and lodging. We would make arrangements for you to be her roommate.â⬠ââ¬Å"Wouldn't that meanâ⬠¦ wouldn't that mean I'd have to go to school?â⬠I asked, feeling a little puzzled now. ââ¬Å"I already graduated.â⬠High school, at least. I'd made it clear a number of times to my father that I'd love to go to college. He'd made it equally clear that he didn't feel there was a need. ââ¬Å"You see?â⬠said Keith, jumping on the opportunity. ââ¬Å"She's too old. Zoe's a better age match.â⬠ââ¬Å"Sydney can pass for a senior. She's the right age.â⬠Stanton gave me a once-over. ââ¬Å"Besides, you were homeschooled, right? This'll be a new experience for you. You can see what you were missing.â⬠ââ¬Å"It would probably be easy for you,â⬠said my father grudgingly. ââ¬Å"Your education was superior to anything they can offer.â⬠Nice backhanded compliment, Dad. I was afraid to show how uneasy this deal was making me. My resolve to look out for Zoe and myself hadn't changed, but the complications just kept growing. Repeat high school. Live with a vampire. Keep her in witness protection. And even though I'd talked up how comfortable I was around vampires, the thought of sharing a room with one ââ¬â even a seemingly benign one like Jill ââ¬â was unnerving. Another woe occurred to me. ââ¬Å"Would you be an undercover student too?â⬠I asked Keith. The idea of lending him class notes made me nauseous again. ââ¬Å"Of course not,â⬠he said, sounding insulted. ââ¬Å"I'm too old. I'll be the Local Area Mission Liaison.â⬠I was willing to bet he'd just made that title up on the spot. ââ¬Å"My job is to help coordinate the assignment and report back to our superiors. And I'm not going to do it if she's the one there.â⬠He looked from face to face as he spoke that last line, but there was no question who she was. Me. ââ¬Å"Then don't,â⬠said Stanton bluntly. ââ¬Å"Sydney is going. That's my decision, and I'll argue it to any higher authority you want to take it to. If you are so against her placement, Mr. Darnell, I will personally see that you are transferred out of Palm Springs and don't have to deal with her at all.â⬠All eyes swiveled to Keith, and he hesitated. She'd caught him in a trap, I realized. I had to imagine that with its climate, Palm Springs didn't see a lot of vampire action. Keith's job there was probably pretty easy, whereas when I'd worked in St. Petersburg, I'd been constantly having to do damage control. That place was a vampire haven, as were some of the other places in Europe and Asia my father had taken me to visit. Don't even get me started about Prague. If Keith were transferred, he took the risk of not only getting a bigger workload but also of being in a much worse location. Because although Palm Springs wasn't desirable for vampires, it sounded kind of awesome for humans. Keith's face confirmed as much. He didn't want to leave Palm Springs. ââ¬Å"What if she goes there, and I have reason to suspect her of treason again?â⬠ââ¬Å"Then report her,â⬠said Horowitz, shifting restlessly. He obviously wasn't impressed with Keith. ââ¬Å"The same as you would anyone.â⬠ââ¬Å"I can increase some of Zoe's training in the meantime,â⬠said my father, almost as an apology to Keith. It was clear whose side my father was on. It wasn't mine. It wasn't even Zoe's, really. ââ¬Å"Then, if you find fault with Sydney, we can replace her.â⬠I bristled at the thought of Keith being the one to decide if I had faults, but that didn't bother me nearly as much as the thought of Zoe still being tied to this. If my father was keeping her on standby, then she wasn't out of danger yet. The Alchemists could still have their hooks in her ââ¬â as could Keith. I vowed then that no matter what it took, even if I had to handfeed him grapes, I would make sure Keith had no reason to doubt my loyalties. ââ¬Å"Fine,â⬠he said, the word seeming to cause him a lot of pain. ââ¬Å"Sydney can goâ⬠¦ for now. But I'll be watching you.â⬠He fixed his gaze on me. ââ¬Å"And I'm not going to cover for you. You'll be responsible for keeping that vampire girl in line and getting her to her feedings.â⬠ââ¬Å"Feedings?â⬠I asked blankly. Of course. Jill would need blood. For a moment, all my confidence wavered. It was easy to talk about hanging out with vampires when none were around. Easier still when you didn't think about what it was that made vampires who they were. Blood. That terrible, unnatural need that fueled their existence. An awful thought sprang into my mind, vanishing as quickly as it came. Am I supposed to give her my blood? No. That was ridiculous. That was a line the Alchemists would never cross. Swallowing, I tried to conceal my brief moment of panic. ââ¬Å"How do you plan on feeding her?â⬠Stanton nodded to Keith. ââ¬Å"Would you explain?â⬠I think she was giving him a chance to feel important, as a way of making up for his earlier defeat. He ran with it. ââ¬Å"There's only one Moroi we know of living in Palm Springs,â⬠said Keith. As he spoke, I noticed that his tousled blond hair was practically coated in gel. It gave his hair a slimy shine that I didn't think was attractive in the least. Also, I didn't trust any guy who used more styling products than I did. ââ¬Å"And if you ask me, he's crazy. But he's harmless crazy ââ¬â inasmuch as any of them are harmless. He's this old recluse who lives outside the city. He's got this hang-up about the Moroi government and doesn't associate with any of them, so he isn't going to tell anyone you guys are there. Most importantly, he's got a feeder he's willing to share.â⬠I frowned. ââ¬Å"Do we really want Jill hanging out with some anti-government Moroi? The whole purpose is to keep them stable. If we introduce her to some rebel, how do we know he won't try to use her?â⬠ââ¬Å"That's an excellent point,â⬠said Michaelson, seeming surprised to admit as much. I hadn't meant to undermine Keith. My mind had just jumped ahead in this way it had, spotting a potential problem and pointing it out. From the look he gave me, though, it was like I was purposely trying to discredit his statement and make him look bad. ââ¬Å"We won't tell him who she is, obviously,â⬠he said, a glint of anger in his good eye. ââ¬Å"That would be stupid. And he's not part of any faction. He's not part of anything. He's convinced the Moroi and their guardians let him down, so he wants nothing to do with any of them. I've passed a story to him about how Jill's family has the same antisocial feelings, so he's sympathetic.â⬠ââ¬Å"You're right to be wary, Sydney,â⬠said Stanton. There was a look of approval in her eyes, like she was pleased at having defended me. That approval meant a lot to me, considering how fierce she often seemed. ââ¬Å"We can't assume anything about any of them. Although we also checked out this Moroi with Abe Mazur, who concurs he's harmless enough.â⬠ââ¬Å"Abe Mazur?â⬠scoffed Michaelson. He scratched at his graying beard. ââ¬Å"Yes. I'm sure he'd be an expert on who's harmless or not.â⬠My heart lurched at the name, but I tried not to show it. Do not react, do not react, I ordered my face. After a deep breath, I asked very, very carefully, ââ¬Å"Is Abe Mazur the Moroi who's going with Jill? I've met him beforeâ⬠¦ but I thought you said it was an Ivashkov who was going.â⬠If Abe Mazur was in residence in Palm Springs, that would alter things significantly. Michaelson scoffed. ââ¬Å"No, we'd never send you off with Abe Mazur. He's simply been helping with the organization of this plan.â⬠ââ¬Å"What's so bad about Abe Mazur?â⬠asked Keith. ââ¬Å"I don't know who he is.â⬠I studied Keith very closely as he spoke, looking for some trace of deception. But, no. His face was all innocence, openly curious. His blue eyes ââ¬â or eye, rather ââ¬â held a rare look of confusion, contrasting with the usual know-it-all arrogance. Abe's name meant nothing to him. I exhaled a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. ââ¬Å"A scoundrel,â⬠said Stanton flatly. ââ¬Å"He knows far too much about things he shouldn't. He's useful, but I don't trust him.â⬠A scoundrel? That was an understatement. Abe Mazur was a Moroi whose nickname in Russia ââ¬â zmey, the serpent ââ¬â said it all. Abe had done a number of favors for me, ones I'd had to pay back at considerable risk to myself. Part of that payback had been helping Rose escape. Well, he'd called it payback; I called it blackmail. I had no desire to cross paths with him again, mostly because I was afraid of what he'd ask for next. The frustrating part was that there was no one I could go to for help. My superiors wouldn't react well to learning that, in addition to all my other solo activities with vampires, I was making side deals with them. ââ¬Å"None of them are to be trusted,â⬠my father pointed out. He made the Alchemist sign against evil, drawing a cross on his left shoulder with his right hand. ââ¬Å"Yes, well, Mazur's worse than most,â⬠said Michaelson. He stifled a yawn, reminding all of us that it was the middle of the night. ââ¬Å"Are we all set, then?â⬠There were murmurs of assent. Keith's stormy expression displayed how unhappy he was at not getting his way, but he made no more attempts to stop me from going. ââ¬Å"I guess we can leave anytime now,â⬠he said. It took me a second to realize that the ââ¬Å"weâ⬠meant him and me. ââ¬Å"Right now?â⬠I asked in disbelief. He shrugged. ââ¬Å"The vampires are going to be on their way soon. We need to make sure everything's set up for them. If we switch off driving, we can be there by tomorrow afternoon.â⬠ââ¬Å"Great,â⬠I said stiffly. A road trip with Keith. Ugh. But what else could I say? I had no choice in this, and even if I did, I was in no position to turn down anything the Alchemists asked of me now. I'd played every card I had tonight, and I had to believe being with Keith was better than a re-education center. Besides, I'd just fought a hard battle to prove myself and spare Zoe. I had to continue showing I was up for anything. My father sent me off to pack with the same briskness he'd ordered me to make myself presentable earlier. I left the others talking and scurried quietly up to my room, still conscious of my sleeping mother. I was an expert in packing quickly and efficiently, thanks to surprise trips my father had sprung on me throughout my childhood. In fact, I always had a bag of toiletries packed and ready to go. The problem wasn't so much in speed as it was in wondering how much to pack. The length of time for this assignment hadn't been specified, and I had the uneasy feeling that no one actually knew. Were we talking about a few weeks? An entire school year? I'd heard someone mention the Moroi wanting to repeal the law that endangered Jill, but that seemed like the kind of legal process that could take a while. To make things worse, I didn't even know what to wear to high school. The only thing I was certain of was that the weather would be hot. I ended up packing ten of my lightest outfits and hoped I'd be able to do laundry. ââ¬Å"Sydney?â⬠I was putting my laptop in a messenger bag when Zoe appeared in my doorway. She'd redone her braids so that they were neater, and I wondered if it had been an attempt to impress our father. ââ¬Å"Hey,â⬠I said, smiling at her. She slipped into the room and shut the door behind her. I was glad she'd come to say goodbye. I would miss her and wanted her to know that ââ¬â ââ¬Å"Why did you do that to me?â⬠she demanded before I could get a word out. ââ¬Å"Do you know how humiliated I am?â⬠I was taken aback, speechless for a few moments. ââ¬Å"Iâ⬠¦ what are you talking about? I was trying to ââ¬â ââ¬Å" ââ¬Å"You made me sound incompetent!â⬠she said. I was astonished to see the glint of tears in her eyes. ââ¬Å"You went on and on about how I didn't have any experience and couldn't handle doing what you and Dad do! I looked like an idiot in front of all those Alchemists. And Keith.â⬠ââ¬Å"Keith Darnell is no one you need to worry about impressing,â⬠I said quickly, trying to control my temper. Seeing her stormy face, I sighed and replayed the conversation in the study. I hadn't been trying to make Zoe look bad so much as do whatever I could to make sure I was the one sent away. I'd had no clue she would take it like this. ââ¬Å"Look, I wasn't trying to embarrass you. I was trying to protect you.â⬠She gave a harsh laugh, and the anger sounded weird coming from someone as gentle as Zoe. ââ¬Å"Is that what you call it? You even said yourself that you were trying to get a promotion!â⬠I grimaced. Yes, I had said that. But I could hardly tell her the truth. No human knew the truth about why I'd helped Rose. Lying to my own kind ââ¬â especially my sister ââ¬â pained me, but there was nothing I could do. As usual, I felt trapped in the middle. So, I dodged the comment. ââ¬Å"You were never intended to be an Alchemist,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"There are better things for you out there.â⬠ââ¬Å"Because I'm not as smart as you?â⬠she asked. ââ¬Å"Because I don't speak five languages?â⬠ââ¬Å"That has nothing to do with it,â⬠I snapped. ââ¬Å"Zoe, you're wonderful, and you'd probably make a great Alchemist! But believe me, the Alchemist lifeâ⬠¦ you don't want any part of it.â⬠I wanted to tell her that she'd hate it. I wanted to tell her that she'd never be responsible for her own future or get to make her own decisions again. But my sense of duty prevented me, and I stayed silent. ââ¬Å"I'd do it,â⬠she said. ââ¬Å"I'd help protect us from vampiresâ⬠¦ if Dad wanted me to.â⬠Her voice wavered a little, and I suddenly wondered what was really fueling her desire to be an Alchemist. ââ¬Å"If you want to get close to Dad, find another way. The Alchemist cause might be a good one, but once you're in it, they own you.â⬠I wished I could explain to her how it felt. ââ¬Å"You don't want this life.â⬠ââ¬Å"Because you want it all for yourself?â⬠she demanded. She was a few inches shorter than me but filled with so much fury and fierceness right now that she seemed to take up the room. ââ¬Å"No! I don't ââ¬â you don't understand,â⬠I finally said. I wanted to throw my hands up in exasperation but held back, as always. The look she gave me nearly turned me to ice. ââ¬Å"Oh, I think I understand perfectly.â⬠She turned around abruptly and hurried out the door, still managing to move quietly. Her fear of our father overpowered her anger at me. I stared at where she'd been standing and felt terrible. How could she have thought I was really trying to steal all the glory and make her look bad? Because that's exactly what you said, a voice inside me pointed out. I supposed it was true, but I'd never expected her to be offended. I'd never known she had any interest in being one of the Alchemists. Even now, I wondered if her desire was more about being a part of something and proving herself to our father than it was about really wishing she'd been chosen for this task. Whatever her reasons, there was nothing to be done for it now. I might not like the heavy-handed way the Alchemists had dealt with me, but I still fiercely believed in what they were doing to protect humans from vampires. And I definitely believed in keeping Jill safe from her own people if it meant avoiding a massive civil war. I could do this job and do it well. And Zoe ââ¬â she would be free to pursue whatever she wanted in life. ââ¬Å"What took you so long?â⬠my father asked when I returned to the study. My conversation with Zoe had delayed me a couple minutes, which was two minutes too long for him. I didn't attempt to answer. ââ¬Å"I'm ready to go whenever you are,â⬠Keith told me. His mood had shifted while I was upstairs. Friendliness oozed from him now, so strongly that it was a wonder everyone didn't recognize it as fake. He'd apparently decided to try a more pleasant attitude around me, either in the hopes of impressing the others or sucking up to me so that I wouldn't reveal what I knew about him. Yet even as he wore that plastic smile, there was a stiffness in his posture and the way he crossed his arms that told me ââ¬â if no else ââ¬â that he was no happier about being thrown together than I was. ââ¬Å"I can even do most of the driving.â⬠ââ¬Å"I don't mind doing my share,â⬠I said, trying to avoid glancing at his glass eye. I also wasn't comfortable being driven by someone with faulty depth perception. ââ¬Å"I'd like to speak to Sydney in private before she goes, if that's all right,â⬠my father said. No one had a problem with that, and he led me into the kitchen, shutting the door behind us. We stood quietly for a few moments, simply facing each other with arms crossed. I suddenly dared to hope that maybe he'd come to tell me he was sorry for how things had been between us this last month, that he forgave me and loved me. Honestly, I would've been happy if he'd simply wanted a private, fatherly goodbye. He peered down at me intently, his brown eyes so identical to mine. I hoped mine never had such a cold look in them. ââ¬Å"I don't have to tell you how important this is for you, for all of us.â⬠So much for fatherly affection. ââ¬Å"No, sir,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"You don't.â⬠ââ¬Å"I don't know if you can undo the disgrace you brought down on us by running off with them, but this is a step in the right direction. Do not mess this up. You're being tested. Follow your orders. Keep the Moroi girl out of trouble.â⬠He sighed and ran a hand through his dark blond hair, which I'd also inherited. Strange, I thought, that we had so many things in commonâ⬠¦ yet were so completely different. ââ¬Å"Thank God Keith is with you. Follow his lead. He knows what he's doing.â⬠I stiffened. There was that note of pride in his voice again, like Keith was the greatest thing walking the earth. My father had seen to it that my training was thorough, but when Keith had stayed with us, my father had taken him on trips and lessons I'd never been part of. My sisters and I had been furious. We'd always suspected that our father regretted having only daughters, and that had been proof. But it wasn't jealousy that made my blood boil and teeth clench now. For a moment, I thought, What if I tell him what I know? What will he think of his golden boy then? But staring into my father's hard eyes, I answered my own question: No one would believe me. That was immediately followed by the memory of another voice and a girl's frightened, pleading face staring at me with big brown eyes. Don't tell, Sydney. Whatever you do, don't tell what Keith did. Don't tell anyone. I couldn't betray her like that. My father was still waiting for an answer. I swallowed and nodded. ââ¬Å"Yes, sir.â⬠He raised his eyebrows, clearly pleased, and gave me a rough pat on the shoulder. It was the closest he'd come to real affection in a while. I flinched, both from surprise and because of how rigid I was with frustration. ââ¬Å"Good.â⬠He moved toward the kitchen door and then paused to glance back at me. ââ¬Å"Maybe there's hope for you yet.ââ¬
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